FEET THAT DRY OUT, CRACK & BLEED

I have bad skin. I have always had bad skin. Many years ago, in a high school of 2,000 students, I had acne worse than the other 1,999 students.

Even now, I need to see a dermatologist periodically to have actinic keratoses frozen off my hands, arms and face with liquid nitrogen treatments. That liquid nitrogen hits your skin at a temperature of minus 196 degrees Fahrenheit and it hurts. I just have bad skin.





As a side note, the divergence of the image created by the camera lens in the above photo gives the illusion that I have had surgical nose augmentation with silicone nose implants to give myself a fuller, firmer nose. Such is not the case. It's a false illusion.

Anyway, we were discussing bad skin.

Last spring, I developed a new condition. My feet cracked, leaving deep crevices in the heels and balls of my feet--deep, dry crevices that would bleed and make walking very painful. I saw my podiatrist. He prescribed an ointment. Things got worse with the ointment, however, so he suggested that I discontinue the ointment, slather my feet with Eucerin lotion each night at bedtime, wrap my slathered feet in Saran Wrap and allow the lotion to soften my feet through the night.

That sounded like a good idea, but have you ever tried to wrap your feet in Saran Wrap? First, you rip off a sheet of Saran Wrap and, before you ever get it to your feet, it has already clung to itself. Then you try to uncling it and you quickly discover that you can’t uncling Saran Wrap once it has already clung to itself. So, you throw that piece of Saran Wrap away and try again. This is all done, of course, while your feet are saturated with gobs of Eucerin lotion.





Finally, after approximately 30 minutes, both feet are eventually covered with lotion and wrapped in Saran Wrap. Then you slip on a pair of socks to hold the Saran Wrap in place which, in turn, is holding the lotion in place. Whoops! The pulling on of the sock rips the Saran Wrap right at the big toe on each foot. Oh, well! You’ve already invested about 45 minutes into the project, you are mildly perspiring from all the effort and all the emotion involved, and it’s getting way past your bedtime. So, you go to bed with your big toes sticking through holes in your Saran Wrap.

I actually did this for about a week and asked the podiatrist if there was such a thing as a rubber glove made for feet. It would make things so much easier. He said he wasn’t aware of any such product, but that a regular glove might work. So, I tried it. It was much easier to place on my feet than the Saran Wrap had been, but it was strangely bulky and very uncomfortable under a sock.




Then I had an idea. A brilliant idea!

What about those thin plastic bags they use in the produce department of the grocery store? They don’t cling to themselves. They don’t fit as strangely on your feet as gloves do. They easily stay in place with socks worn over them. And they don't break at the big toe when you slip on a sock.





So, I went down to the Cash and Carry store and bought a roll of produce bags. And at bedtime I began slathering my feet with Eucerin lotion, slipping a produce bag over each slathered foot and slipping a sock over each produce bag.





And it worked! After months of suffering with feet that were dry and cracked and painful, I now have feet that are soft and supple--the kind of feet that any man would be proud to have.