DIRTY JOBS

I have crawled under the house four times in the past eight years, not counting today. The fourth time was about six years ago. The fifth time was today. Since the fourth time, we have had a pest control service cover all the dirt under the house with black plastic and spray for critters. It is now much dustier than before and the dust is orange. It is a dirty job. And this dirty territory is also home to a community of black widow spiders. So, anyone venturing into this space--their space--must crawl with careful caution, alert eyes, and catlike reflexes.

The reason for today’s trip under the house relates to our television. We have a satellite receiver for the TV in the family room, but not for the TV in the spare bedroom. The spare bedroom is where both Debra and I work out each morning on our elliptical exerciser. We like to pass the time exercising by watching the morning news on a small, thirteen-inch TV. We use a rabbit ear antenna on top of this TV.

Red arrow shows elliptical exerciser. Blue arrow shows rabbit ears

Since all television will be going digital early next year, we decided to pay the extra fee to have the spare bedroom wired for satellite TV, too. But our satellite provider requires a phone cable to be attached to the receiver unit above the TV in the family room.

The first time I crawled under the house, many years ago, I was checking drainage pipes in the bathroom.

The second time was to attach a phone cable from our existing phone jack in the kitchen to a phone jack, which I installed in the master bedroom, so I could have a phone in that room.

The third time was to run another phone line to a jack in the spare bedroom for a dial-up computer modem.

The fourth time was to run another phone line to a jack in the living room, again, for a dial-up modem. I had decided at that time to move my computer from the back bedroom to the living room. Eventually, the computer was moved one more time to its current location, in the spare bedroom where is had been once before.

And today, hopefully, will be the last time I will ever need to work under the house again.

Red arrow shows where I disconnected the phone jack from the living room.

Red arrow shows where I need to install the phone jack so I can hook it up to the satellite receiver

Red arrow shows another view of where I need to install the phone jack. Blue arrow shows the satellite receiver. When I complete the installation of the phone jack, a phone cable will attach the phone jack to the satellite receiver.

Before installing the jack, I need to drill a hole into the floor so I can pull the phone cable through the floor from under the house.

At the base of the steps to the hot tub deck is the opening to the crawl space.

The door is open

With flashlight in hand, I prepare to go in.

With knee pads in place, both my left buttock and my right buttock follow my upper body under the house.

Once under the house, I begin my crawl to the work area. The red arrow shows where the phone cable currently enters the living room. The blue arrow shows where the cable will be pulled through the floor into the family room through the hole I drilled.

Getting closer

Again, the red arrow shows the cable entering into the family room. The blue arrow shows where I have drilled the new hole. The white arrow shows the foundation beneath the fireplace.

After attaching the phone cable to a wire coat hanger and having Debra help me by pulling it into the family room, I have completed the dirty job and begin my crawl back to the opening. The red arrow shows the opening as well as the lattice which is attached to the hot tub deck.

All the previous photos under the house were taken with a flash. This photo shows just how dark it really was. The only light came through the crawl space opening and a few small vents.

Getting closer to my exit, the lattice is still visible.

Getting still closer.

Almost there. I can see the steps to the hot tub deck.

And now I can see the yard

Free at last! Free at last!

With the phone cable now coming through the floor in the family room, I am now ready to install the jack.

And with the jack finally installed (red arrow) the phone line is now hooked up to the satellite receiver. We are now ready to call our satellite provider and have them hook up our spare room TV to the satellite receiver. We are also ready to say “goodbye” to the rabbit ears. That was a dirty job!