WHEN CLEANSER AND BLEACH AND OTHER CHEMICALS JUST DON'T WORK

Toilets, over the years, get stained from mineral deposits within the water. Even after they are cleaned, they look dirty. Disgustingly dirty.

We have easily spent over $64 on cleansers and bleach and scrubbing devices and toilet bowl inserts in our futile attempt to remove these stains over the nine years since moving into this house. New toilets at the local home improvement store range in cost from $64 to $108. And installation is dummy-friendly.

So on Saturday, while Debra was visiting her mother, I tore out the old and put in the new. But I didn't tell Debra. I hid the old toilet on the side of the house where humans rarely go.

Last night, nearly two days after the switcharoo, Debra woke up in the middle of the night to, well, uh, to investigate things around the house that needed investigating in the middle of the night. During the course of her investigating, she made a surprising discovery. She discovered that those disgusting stains were gone!

This is a recently cleaned toilet that does not look clean.

This is what to do when cleanser and bleach and other chemicals just don't work.

This discovery was made in the middle of the night during a routine investigation of the house.